Where was I? Oh yeah. We’re all at home, snuggled in the bed watching Naked and Afraid XL, because that’s what we do, when D heard a scratching sound come from under the bed. Immediately we look for the three dogs and the cat. All are accounted for. WTF, right? Right. It’s the rodent.
Further chasing of rat ensues as one shih tzu sleeps on the bed while the yorkie and I are trying to catch this thing and the wife and daughter are out in the car. The damn rat runs across the headboard, leaps for the bedside table, falls off the lamp and tries to climb up the wall. The shih tzu is still asleep. He in fact remains asleep until I strip the bed of sheets that now had maybe come into contact with rodent feet. Thanks, Dash. You just wait there, buddy.
D and E end up going to a hotel/motel for the night, because obviously no one is sleeping in that room until there’s a dead rat. Or at least until my loving, big hearted wife sees the carcass (Seriously. She demanded to see the remains.)
Fast forward an hour or so. It’s past midnight. I’m on the couch in the living room with three dogs, only one of which is actively trying to help and a cat who has apparently gone on strike. I have the mallet and the high-powered bb gun my dad gave me when I lived near water in case snakes got in the yard. After about three am I started falling asleep feeling a lot like Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket.
The yorkie and I did manage to almost catch the damn thing. In fact, we ended up trapping it in E’s room. E is 9. She’s brilliant and thrives on chaos. Her room looks like a landfill made up of books, shopkins and DC Superhero Girls. It’s a mess.
I slam a few more traps in there, complete with a huge glue one, (the yorkie managed to catch herself on that one), shut the door, stuff something between the door and the floor and fall into a heap of exhaustion on the couch. I promptly woke up at every little noise.
That morning, a friend came over to help with the Great Rat Chase of 2017. He was brave enough to enter the room while the yorkie and I kept up the guard in the hallway, alert and ready for it to make a run for it.
Finally though, M got it. We take a picture of the carcass, it gets posted to Facebook, the family comes home and I’m done.
Seems rather anticlimactic, but there you have it.